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Friday, November 30th, 2007
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| Time: | 5:56 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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Today, my dad showed me who he really is.
Right now i'm going through my finals, and having all the time I can get help from others for tutoring is very important for me in order to get a good grade on them.
My dad doesn't give a shit about that. All he cares about is going to the ranch and expect me to work and come home on sunday night and completely waste my entire weekend over there. So I told him that I am in need of getting tutored this weekend and of course he shot me down and told me that he doesnt give a shit about anything in my life, and all he cares is for me to obey him.
I am hiding at school and not answering his calls so he will not be able to find me.
I hate meeting my friends parents/grandparents because it only makes me sad to see that they will go over a mountain for them, and for me my dad will not even let me do what I need to do for school.
Basically he is more important and what he has to do is more important that anything that is in me and my siblings lives.
I just wished he loved my mom the way he should
I just wish he loved my brothers and my sister the way he should
I just wish he would love me the way he should
He seriously needs help before its to late.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 27th, 2007
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I'm torn between two things. My friends that all live somewhere else and my compound family. I just dont know how to deal with them both. I love both so very much it makes me think how blessed to have them two in my life.
My friends from highschool now college;
You guys did nothing but fill my adolesence with joy and laughter. My girls, oh my girls. You kids made me love anything that came my way. And even though my senior (I dont know if it had the same effect on you guys as it did on me) I think I kinda separated myself from you guys I never thought anything less of you guys. I love you and that will never ever EVER change.
My compound family;
oh where can I start. oh yes, yvette. You changed me into not only a better drinker haha but a better writer and above all else a better person. Honestly I would be dead if it wasn't for you. From everyone to the tmu guys to the tmu girls, I love you all and the compound has and always will be my escape, my little treehouse that noone can find ever in their life time. It's one of the greatest places I have ever gone to ever in my life. Joy, laughter, amazing music, cigs, and booze. Heaven much? I would like to think so.
I look pretty much like this now
 <--- pedo. Confused as to why my mom is a bar with me.
And me now loving my sister moving back with me
And after everything that has happened the good, the bad, and the ugly, im still alive. Groundbreaking.
Well I know things will get nothing but better. I love everyone where ever they are. You guys are my world. School has started now lets make it the best of what it is and I will see (whoever is not in mcallen) sooner and not later. Love you all.
Fuck broncs ;)
(wow I felt really sad starting this entry but now I feel so much more at ease with myself about staying here)
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Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.
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If you want to know where I am tommorrow night, I will be attending this. I will be the drunk guy holding a glass of wine and a couple of cubes of cheese!!!!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
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Tommorrow. Will it ever come soon enough?
Tommorrow. The day I get freedom from highschool.
Tommorrow. I will be happy.
Tommorrow. I Graduate.
Am I happy? You bet your ass I am.
Wow I have noticed that my past entries are so fucking emotional and pathetic.
I love you all.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 11:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  apathetic. |
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Next thursday, I will be graduating and never returning to that horrible place called highschool. I hate it.
In one year I will be leaving my asshole of parents and leaving them on their own, for good.
This upcoming year I plan on disapearing from everyone minus a few (compound).
I need solitude. I need quietness. I need to be alone. I am a terrible mess. My father just loves to attack me.
I think my sister isn't coming back to live with me anymore. :(
Here goes another year of even more loneliness. Thanks for everything God.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Lately I have felt so complete/incomplete. I got into UT but I have to do a year at UTPA, which isn't all that bad. I feel that I haven't been home in ages. I feel like I hurt some of my closest friends, in a matter that I didn't choose. I was starting to feel somewhat complete untill that faithful day when God but matters into his own hands and placed a shiny silver object in the middle of the road to shake my emotions. I fucked up badly. I needed to realize something in that point on. Things happen to everyone every day, either good or bad, it happens, things happen.
I just sometimes feel that I have been getting so much shit for things I feel I don't deserve to get, or maybe I do, I just don't know anymore. I think that's why I am not disappointed in staying here one more year. I feel I have things unfinished here, with my father, my mother, my sister, my brothers, the compound, yvette, my best friend Adrian, my (bro) mentor Petey, and everyone that I just fucking love that are leaving next semester. I think that I need a brake from all those kids from school just to find myself, not saying that I hate them, but I just need time to finally, just finally, to find myself, my real self. I think once I find myself someone in my darkness I can finally find that flashlight to guide myself to the outside world and finally live the way life was meant for me.
Untill I finally do, I will be very good.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 10th, 2007
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Sunday, February 11th, 2007
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Tuesday, February 6th, 2007
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I wish I could lay with Shara and talk in bed with yvette all day at the compound getting wasted. And converse about life, I really do need that.
Ah blasphemous, if it was only summer, if it was only all ok, if only it was all peaceful and happy again.
Why is life cruel, why do I always have to get the shit end of the stick.
I need to find my way back, I feel like an man at a bottomless sea that doesn't has a surface to catch a breath.
Why does everyone have to split their ways for imature reasons.
To sum things up:
1: I fucking dispise highschool and everything contained in it.
2: I currently am very apathetic towards some people, and you should know who you are.
3: I need to fucking graduate now.
4: And basically I never want to see Chongers in my classrooms ever again in my life. I just dont understand that these people dont want to learn. They think that an education is a fucking joke and they think that they are going to be rich and have a good life by selling drugs and God knows what else. Ugh I dont know anymore.
I have just given up on things and just have given in.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, January 5th, 2007
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I want that day to be in my garage and say goodbye to parents and wave to them goodbye while I drive up to UT. Knowing that day being before this year ends is just to amazing to think that it is very close.
Ugh I just need half a page more on my essay so I can turn it in for admissions. Yvette is helping me with all this so I lav! you mama!!!!!!!!
Hope everyone is doing great with their break, and hope everyone is getting their college shit done aswell.
peace!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, August 21st, 2005
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What would be a greater way than to see "The Faint" on your last saturday of summer?
Well i did just that! I saw them in Monterrey, Mexico. I met up with jose there, it was so much fun! I will never forget/regret this!
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 13th, 2005
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Tonight if finally the night!!!!
Everyone better go and shake there ass!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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What can i say another year has gone by so fast. This year has been such a rollercoster for me i can't even explain it.
I have lost a friend this year, and i wish it never happen, but i guess it happened for a reason. I will never take her back as a friend. In my opinion and that goes for the rest of the people she hurt, we are way happier without her.
School has had its ups and down. I failed two classes :( ohwell summer school for me, i dont care really.
I have made so many new friends this year its not even funny! wow im so amazed.
My band has gotten such a fan base that i couldnt even imagine. But like i dont have a nationwide fan base, but i mean i have people who like it from kansas, austin, San antonio, houston, and all around the valley! wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I know my life it just going to get better and better. im so fucking happy right now i cant even fucking explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'lkdg;lkakhsdg;lahsd;lgkhas;dlkkgh;alksdhg;lkashd;lgkkhasd;lkkha;lsdkhg;lakshdg;lkahsdl;gkhas;ldkkgha;lksdhglkaherrpoighpowirerhgl;kasdbhglkbaopigjhaoerkjhg
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Comments: Read 20 or Add Your Own.
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dear everyone,
the show of a lifetime is this weekend:
it's the happysucky!/babys lunch split 3" cd release and you are invited.
saturday, may 7th
eat grapes (lo-fi acoustic stuff from houston)
the neutrinos (mates of state is way overrated compared to this duo)
birfday cake (dude, gameboys)
basil the mouse (the catchiest pop songs you will ever hear)
the babys lunch (sexual education jams with serious sing alongs)
happysucky! (these kids eventually will get naked)
the arcade fire (they're all over mtv, man)
on the lamar pedestrian bridge (riverside and lamar- parallel to the taco cabana).
music starts at ten.
the show is free, but you should bring donations for the out-of-towners. plus the cd is only three bucks. that's only a dollar an inch!
p.s. this is happysucky's last show, because jordyne is moving to hawaii so we should seriously celebrate. there is no excuse for not coming.
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Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 9:27 pm. |
| Mood: |  cheerful. | | Music: | The faint. |
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Everyone who is from the valley, and loves everyone one that is playing, come and see us! Even if it is just 30 minutes. Just come.
Im BirFday cake if you guys are just wondering. The rest on that flyer are already legends! 0_o
Ah im so nervous, this is my first show.
<33333333333333
(Matt did a wonderful job on the flyer)
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Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
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You know what i fucking adore? When fucking stupid shit heads like this one (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) radiopicture ) steal peoples music.
aosiudkhjdh fvhoiasdlnqyak.fvh naoisdjfoij#$&(*&^%$E!$%&^(*&^%$#$%^%^*%$%^#fklahsdklfhasdnkjlfvmnasdlkfhyujaf8934y5t9834265986y2349853485790384759
AUGH!!!!!!
EVERYONE GO START SHIT WITH HIM.
Heres the website, AND I BETTER FUCKING SEE HIM CRY!
http://www.playersparadise.net/player_detail.php?player_id=3106
comics battle: hey!
no more itchies: helloo
comics battle: whats up
no more itchies: Upload and Download free song., WMA midi mp3 streaming music | YAMAHA : Player's Paradise : Player Information (i dunno i saw this site)
comics battle: wtf
comics battle: where did this come from
comics battle: ?1!?
no more itchies: i dunno. i dunno if he is like claiming my music like if it is his, or what
comics battle: wtf
comics battle: start some shit!
comics battle: you know i am
comics battle: haha
no more itchies: hahah
NO ONE FUCKING MESSES WITH OUR MATT LIKE THAT!!!!! NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;SJDG;AJSDG [OAPSDJFKATWIRF7892E65R9827Y987R%&%^&#%#^*#%^*(%^&w$%^$#
AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
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anxious.
confused.
tired.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM.